Baby Cries Before Every Nap and Bedtime? Here’s How to Help!
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Sarah Mann Certified Baby Sleep Consultant and Mom of Seven  |
Oh, I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now. Your baby is crying and crying. You’re stressed and frustrated with every bedtime routine. And you just don’t know what to do?
I’m glad you found your way here. I’m Sarah, a mom of seven and a certified baby sleep consultant. And I didn’t choose this work by accident. Years ago, I often felt overwhelmed and frustrated by my babies’ sleep struggles. And yes—having a baby who cried before every sleep was something I experienced too.
But then came a turning point: I started searching for reasons and solutions. That was the moment everything changed—not just for our nights and bedtime battles, but also for the beginning of Land of Little Dreamers.
In this article, I’ll explain why your baby cries before every sleep, what you can do about it, and what special cases to watch out for—sprinkled with plenty of “Sarah’s Side Notes,” where I share my own experiences and insights.
Why Does My Baby Cry Before Falling Asleep?
There are many reasons why your baby might cry before every nap or bedtime. The first step is to rule out any serious concerns. Your baby should be:
✔ Healthy
✔ Drinking and feeding regularly
✔ Developing normally
💡 If something feels off, trust your instincts! Moms have an incredible sense for when something isn’t right. If you’re unsure, check with your pediatrician or midwife.
Once medical concerns are ruled out, the following checklist can help you identify why your baby might be crying before sleep.
1. Physical Discomfort
Crying is your baby’s only way to communicate discomfort. So first, check:
- Hunger or thirst?
- A full diaper?
- Too hot or too cold?
Other physical reasons could include:
- Gas or digestive issues, especially in newborns, as their digestive system is still developing.
- Signs of discomfort, like squirming, arching their back, or pulling up their legs, may indicate tummy troubles.
2. Teething
Depending on your baby’s age, teething could be causing serious discomfort.
- Most babies start teething around 6–8 months, though some get their first tooth as early as 4 months, while others don’t see one until their 12th month.
- Every baby reacts differently to teething. Some barely notice it, while others experience significant pain—especially at bedtime.
Among my seven children, teething looked completely different for each one.
- Two of my babies had fevers during teething (since the immune system can weaken when teeth break through).
- Three of them struggled with severe pain at night and cried often (teething gels helped!).
- And one of them? No issues at all! They sailed through teething like a champ.
Beyond mild fever and pain, other signs of teething include:
✔ Chewing on hands or objects
✔ Increased fussiness and crying
✔ Drooling more than usual
✔ A greater need for comfort and cuddles
3. Overtiredness
Does your baby cry before every sleep? It might be due to overtiredness!
Even though it may seem illogical to us (since we’re trying to help them sleep), overtiredness is one of the most common reasons for crying at bedtime.
If your baby is rubbing their eyes, yawning excessively, or desperately searching for the breast, it’s a clear sign they are already very tired—or even overtired. Crying might already be part of this phase or start within minutes.
We can actually relate to this! Think about how it feels when you’re overtired—frayed nerves, heightened sensitivity, and overall discomfort. Since falling asleep isn’t always easy for babies, they often express their exhaustion loudly.
How to Help
To prevent this, try starting the bedtime routine earlier and avoiding overtiredness as much as possible. Helpful steps include:
✔ Checking your baby’s sleep needs
✔ Planning a good daily schedule
✔ Adjusting wake windows
✔ Setting optimal bedtime routines
💡 Our free Baby Sleep Course can be a great resource!
Overtiredness is also a common reason why babies cry before naps during the day.
4. Overstimulation
Your baby might also cry before sleep due to overstimulation from the day’s events. (This is especially common in the first months.)
And it’s not just noise that can be overwhelming! Other factors include:
- Strong smells
- Bright lights and visual stimuli
- Being around too many or unfamiliar people
Babies spend nine months in the comfort of the womb—a peaceful, safe, and sensory-protected environment. Adjusting to the outside world takes time.
My babies reacted very differently to sensory input. Some handled busy days just fine, while others became fussy and clingy afterward. Often, they needed more sleep and became tired earlier than usual.
Overstimulation is often worsened by overtiredness. Just like us, when we’re exhausted, we become more sensitive to noise, lights, and distractions.
How to Reduce Overstimulation
Every baby is different, but most need:
✔ A quiet, dimly lit environment
✔ Close contact with Mom
✔ Soothing sounds like white noise or gentle music
✔ Swaddling (pucking) can also help some babies
How often or how intensely your baby experiences overstimulation depends a lot on their personality—which brings us to the next point.
5. Your Baby’s Personality
It’s important to treat every baby as an individual. Every child is unique, with their own needs and temperament—and that’s what makes parenting both challenging and beautiful!
Even in the early months, you’ll start seeing your baby’s personality emerge.
As parents, our role is to gently observe and learn:
- How does your baby express discomfort?
- What do they need to feel safe and secure?
- What helps them settle into sleep?
Some babies struggle more than others to establish a natural sleep-wake rhythm or fall asleep easily.
One of the best ways to support them is by developing a nurturing bedtime routine that meets their individual needs.
6. Growth Spurts & Sleep Regressions
Many times over the years, my husband and I have looked at each other knowingly during intense baby-crying phases and said, „Looks like someone is going through a sleep regression.“
And yes, these phases can be incredibly challenging. The 4-month sleep regression, the one around 9 months, and again at 18 months can be especially tough.
During these times, babies go through huge developmental leaps. Their sleep patterns change, and these shifts not only show up during the day (with more fussiness and clinginess) but also at bedtime and throughout the night.
Often, it feels like everything was fine just a few days ago—and suddenly, sleep becomes a struggle.
Sometimes, the best approach is simply to be there, offer comfort, and wait it out. These little ones are processing major physical, emotional, and cognitive changes, and that can be overwhelming for them.
However, there are things you can do to help your baby (and yourself) get through this phase more smoothly.
Tired? Exhausted? Feeling lost?
SIGN UP NOW FOR THE FREE BABY SLEEP COURSE.
Feedback from Emily:
You hear and read a lot about sleep training programs and tips for falling and staying asleep. But in this course, you receive a daily email with step-by-step guidance in the right direction. At the same time, everything can be individually adapted to your baby and your family situation. It has helped us so much—our baby now sleeps several hours longer at a stretch. Naps during the day take no more than 5 minutes to settle, and bedtime in the evening takes at most 30 minutes. Thank you so much for this course!
7. Processing Birth or Other Intense Experiences
Your baby might be crying before sleep because they are processing an intense experience.
The transition from Mom’s cozy womb to independent life is a massive adjustment—especially if the birth or first hours/days didn’t go as smoothly as expected (C-section, separation from Mom after birth, etc.).
In these cases, it’s especially important that we as parents offer support as our baby works through these early experiences.
Big Changes & Emotional Release
This perspective can completely change the way we see a crying baby.
Why?
Developmental psychologist Dr. Aletha J. Solter, founder of the Aware Parenting movement (closely related to Attachment Parenting), suggests that tears are a natural and necessary way for babies to process change.
According to her, crying before sleep is completely normal.
💡 Crying is seen as a baby’s way of expressing emotions—not something that should always be stopped.
(Just like adults need to release emotions, babies do too—they simply lack other ways to do so.)
Dr. Solter believes that rather than distracting a baby from crying (with pacifiers, rocking, or nursing), it’s better to:
✔ Offer intense physical contact
✔ Use soothing words that acknowledge their feelings
✔ Comfort them without trying to stop the tears immediately
This perspective was eye-opening for us. It didn’t just change how we thought about crying—it transformed how we supported our fifth baby.
By simply being present, offering closeness, and allowing emotions to be processed, we helped our little one through this intense phase—and it significantly improved sleep as well.
Special Case: Colicky Babies
When babies cry excessively before sleep, many parents wonder: Do I have a colicky baby?
A baby is considered colicky if they cry for:
- More than 3 hours per day
- At least 3 days per week
- For 3 consecutive weeks or more
Experts estimate that 1 in 10 babies experiences this intense crying pattern.
If your baby doesn’t quite fit the definition but still cries a lot, they may be going through a temporary but intense phase (such as a sleep regression or teething).
Unfortunately, this doesn’t always mean that good sleep will automatically return afterward—especially after the 4-month sleep regression. In many cases, additional support is needed to help babies regain healthy sleep habits.
What Can You Do?
If your baby is crying before sleep and struggling to settle, there are several ways to help them drift off more peacefully.
1. Comforting
Soothing your baby is the most natural thing to do (and something you’ve probably tried many times! 😉).
Some effective ways to calm your baby include:
✔ Speaking softly and offering gentle physical contact
✔ Singing or playing calm music or white noise
✔ Changing the diaper while massaging or stroking them (though this can sometimes overstimulate an overtired baby)
Swaddling (pucking) can also create a sense of security. My own experience has shown that babies often settle more easily when swaddled, and they tend to wake up less frequently due to reduced startle reflex.
💡 Feeding or using a pacifier often helps soothe a baby, but be mindful—it can create a strong sleep association, making it difficult for them to fall back asleep without it at night.
As always, every baby has their own preferences.
2. Distraction
Sometimes, a change of scenery can work wonders—just like it does for us adults!
✔ Moving to another room can sometimes shift their focus.
✔ A short walk outside is often incredibly calming—not just for your baby, but for your own nerves as well!
3. Prevention
✔ Avoid putting your baby to bed overtired—this is one of the most common causes of bedtime struggles.
✔ Try adjusting bedtime by 15 minutes earlier—sometimes, this small change can make a big difference.
✔ Create a well-structured daily rhythm—aligning wake and sleep windows helps you anticipate when your baby is truly ready to sleep.
💡 Our free Baby Sleep Course can help guide you through these steps!
If your baby is already overtired and crying a lot, offer:
- A calm and quiet atmosphere
- Soothing sounds or white noise
If possible, seek help from family or friends—having someone take your baby for a walk or taking turns with a partner during crying spells can be incredibly relieving.
💡 I remember my husband and I taking turns every 10 minutes during a particularly rough phase, just to get through the evening. It was exhausting—but it helped!
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4. Be Present
Parenting is a lifelong journey of guidance—and that includes helping our babies learn to sleep peacefully.
Crying phases are intense for them too. Whatever the cause, they need us to:
✔ Be there
✔ Comfort them
✔ Hold them
✔ Support them through this phase
Babies sense when we’re stressed. I’ve seen firsthand how family stress or tension affects my little ones—they’re highly sensitive to emotions!
5. Take a Break If You Need One
If you feel overwhelmed, step away for a short breather. Anyone who has been in this situation knows how emotionally draining it can be.
✔ If no one is available to take over, place your baby safely in their crib and step out for a moment.
✔ Make sure the sleep environment is safe (no pillows, blankets, or hazards in the crib).
✔ Take a deep breath—your baby needs you to be as calm and balanced as possible.
💡 Sometimes, just a few moments away can help you reset and recharge for your little one.
Three Things You Should NOT Do
1. Rushing or Overstimulating
Avoid too many changes or overly frequent adjustments. If your calming attempts become too hectic, they can actually be counterproductive and make your baby more unsettled.
2. Shaking Your Baby
Never try to calm your baby by shaking them.
I completely understand how overwhelming sleepless, intense nights can be (I’ve been there!). Exhaustion and frustration can push parents to their limits.
However, shaking a baby can lead to serious trauma, injuries, or even death. If you ever feel yourself reaching a breaking point, step away for a moment, take deep breaths, and ask for help if possible.
3. Losing Hope
When you’ve tried everything, and nothing seems to work, it’s easy to feel defeated.
But please remember: this is not your fault.
This phase does not mean you’re doing anything wrong. Instead, see it as a process—one where you’re supporting your child, building an even stronger bond, and learning to understand what they need most right now.
The reasons behind your baby’s struggles can be many (as we’ve discussed).
💛 Wishing you strength and patience during this time!
With love,
Sarah
