How to Help Your Baby Sleep Without Nursing (3 Proven Methods)

As a sleep consultant, I frequently receive questions like this:

“My baby only falls asleep at the breast. How can I gently break this habit? Even at night, my baby/child constantly wants to nurse and refuses to settle in any other way. We as parents are suffering from extreme sleep deprivation. They won’t take a pacifier either. How can we teach them to sleep in our bed or even in their own bed without constant night nursing?”

In this article, you’ll find answers to these common concerns!

My baby only falls asleep at the breast. Is that really a problem?

First and foremost, I want to emphasize something important: Nursing your baby to sleep and for comfort is not inherently wrong or a „bad habit“!

For many moms, breastfeeding to sleep is a beautiful and natural sleep aid and a way to help their baby settle at night. So the answer is: No, nursing to sleep is definitely not bad in itself, and it shouldn’t necessarily be avoided from the start!

Most newborns and babies love falling asleep while sucking—whether at the breast, with a pacifier, or from a bottle. In fact, this is entirely normal, healthy, and developmentally appropriate—especially in the first weeks and months. As long as both of you (!) enjoy it and are coping well, there is absolutely nothing wrong with continuing to nurse your baby to sleep.

Throughout history, across various cultures, babies and even toddlers have been raised with an abundance of love, closeness, and physical contact. In some cultures, breastfeeding up to the ages of 3-7 years is still considered normal today.

Even the WHO recommends breastfeeding for at least 2.5 years.

Demand feeding is widely recommended by midwives and pediatricians today, and you’re not doing anything „wrong“ by allowing your baby to drift off to sleep while nursing.

Additionally, breast milk contains different hormones depending on the time of day, which is believed to help support sleep. (At least in theory. As a sleep consultant, I know that in the reality of sleep-deprived parents, things often look quite different. More on that shortly ;-))

So: As long as nursing to sleep (or sucking on a pacifier or bottle) is working and feels good for both of you, keep going and enjoy this special time of closeness!

When is nursing to sleep problematic?

Nursing to sleep only becomes an issue when frequent feeding—especially at bedtime—leads to restless nights. In such cases, a so-called „sleep-sucking association“ develops, and your baby or toddler insists on breastfeeding as a way to fall and stay asleep. Unfortunately, this is often the case, even though babies from around 6 months of age are theoretically capable of going through the night without needing to eat.

Frequent night nursing then occurs more out of habit than hunger: The child struggles to transition between sleep cycles at night without sucking. Many babies wake up every 45 to 90 minutes and demand their familiar sleep aid—the mother’s breast, a pacifier, or, less commonly, a bottle.

To break this cycle of frequent awakenings, it is almost always necessary to wean off the sucking association.

At the same time, new sleep habits must be established to replace nursing to sleep and ideally promote independent sleep.

The big question is:

How can you help babies fall asleep on their own, without nursing?

The best approach is usually to start with bedtime and—if nights don’t improve automatically—gradually work on reducing night wakings.

As a gentle sleep consultant (and a passionate mom of seven! ;-)), I recommend avoiding abrupt methods and instead giving your child the time they need.

Gradual preparation makes the transition easier for both your child and you as parents.

These steps have proven to be very effective:

1. Observe your child’s sleep patterns and see how you can support their natural biorhythm.
2. Ensure your child has at least a somewhat structured daily routine with an age-appropriate, early bedtime.
3. Introduce a peaceful, meaningful bedtime routine (consistent rituals before bed that make falling and staying asleep easier).
4. Gently transition your baby/toddler to new sleep habits.
5. Sleeping without nursing or sucking: The final step is to lovingly guide your child toward independent sleep.

For detailed guidance on all these steps, check out my free email course. There, you’ll find invaluable insights on gently weaning your child off the sucking-to-sleep association.

Which methods can help wean a baby off nursing to sleep?

In the end, there are various strategies for teaching your baby or toddler to fall asleep without sucking. Personally, I use five different attachment-based methods, which I tailor based on the child’s age, personality, and the parents‘ approach to parenting. Now, I’d like to briefly introduce three of them!

It’s important that you always stay close to your little one, supporting them as they transition to falling asleep independently. Also, ensure that your child is developmentally ready for night weaning (typically from 6-9 months).

A well-known and very gentle sleep training method is the „gradual withdrawal method“.

The Gradual Withdrawal Method

With the gradual withdrawal method, you slowly and subtly reduce your baby’s reliance on nursing to sleep, starting around 3-4 months. If your baby currently falls asleep entirely while sucking—meaning 100% of the time—you take a step back and try to unlatch at 90% drowsiness.

To do this, gently insert your little finger into their mouth corner to break the suction, then attempt to soothe them with rocking, patting, or singing instead. If they start crying, resume nursing and try again after a short moment. Repeat this process until it works—initially, it may take up to 10 tries per session, but it should improve after a few days. Apply the same technique during night wakings (whether sitting or lying down) so your baby gets multiple “practice situations.”

Once your baby accepts unlatching at 90%, reduce further to 80%, then 70%, and so on. The goal is for your baby to gradually learn to fall asleep without the breast, without tears. Many babies then begin to wake up less frequently and transition between sleep cycles more independently.

Tips for Young Babies

Even for younger babies (around 2-4 months), it’s beneficial to occasionally practice falling asleep without the breast to avoid developing a strong sleep-sucking association. Provide alternative soothing techniques from the beginning while still allowing the comfort of nursing to sleep when needed.

The CLA Method

Another method I’ve had excellent experiences with—especially for babies between 4-8 months—is the CLA Method (“Cry in Loving Arms”).

The CLA Method is not a traditional sleep training technique but can be highly effective in improving sleep and reducing night wakings. The name and approach are my personal adaptation of attachment-based and developmental psychology principles for addressing baby and toddler sleep issues.

The “Cry in Loving Arms” approach is one of the most attachment-focused sleep learning methods available.

It is based on the work of developmental psychologist Dr. Aletha J. Solter, founder of the Aware Parenting movement, which aligns closely with Attachment Parenting principles. According to her research, crying is not only a way to communicate needs but also a means of processing stress. While leaving a baby to cry alone raises stress hormone levels, studies indicate that crying in a parent’s loving arms does not have negative effects. On the contrary, it can help babies relax and improve their sleep sustainably.

In short, CLA means you stop exhausting yourself with distracting or soothing maneuvers to put your baby to sleep. Instead, you hold your baby calmly in your arms, allowing them to cry freely while being comforted. This helps them release pent-up emotions and stress without suppressing their natural need for expression. As a result, many babies begin sleeping longer and more peacefully.

The CLA Method is particularly suitable for babies over four months old who struggle with restless sleep or rely heavily on constant sucking to settle. Many parents find it to be a gentle and manageable alternative to traditional sleep training methods.

Learn more about the CLA Method here.

The Chair Method

The final sleep coaching method, particularly well-suited for older, active, or strong-willed babies and toddlers (from 6 months onward), is the Chair Method. Here, your baby learns to fall asleep in their own sleep space—typically a crib—without nursing. A parent sits on a chair beside the crib, offering physical contact initially and then gradually reducing it to verbal reassurance. Over approximately two weeks, your baby learns to fall asleep independently in their own room.

If you’re looking for more details and insights on how to gently help your child sleep without nursing, feel free to sign up for my free Baby Sleep Course.

Wishing you all the best,

Sarah